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2009-06-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

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2009-02-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

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Deep Thoughts by Clive Staples

2005-12-30T12:44:00.000-08:00

The first two times I read C.S. Lewis's The Pilgrim's Regress: An Allegorical Apology for Christianity Reason and Romanticism, I let it whip me around the room with all its allegory and unfamiliar schools of thought. This time, though, I think I am starting to get a grasp on it. I actually found this Afterword to the Third Edition in a compilation book describing what compelled C.S. to write this allegory, and these few paragraphs of it really blew me away. They're just so well thought out and true. Let me know if you have any thoughts on it. Oh, and it's not for the faint of heart, both in length and subject matter:

What I meant by ‘Romanticism’ when I wrote the Pilgrim’s Regress was a particular recurrent experience which dominated my childhood and adolescence and which I hastily called “Romantic” because inanimate nature and marvelous literature were among the things that evoked it. I still believe that the experience is common, commonly misunderstood, and of immense importance; but I know now that in other minds it arises under other stimuli and is entangled with other irrelevancies and that to bring it into the forefront of consciousness is not so easy as I once supposed. I will now try to describe it sufficiently to make the following pages intelligible.

The experience is one of intense longing. It is distinguished from other longings by two things. In the first place, though the sense of want is acute and even painful, yet the mere wanting is felt to be somehow a delight. Other desires are felt as pleasures only if satisfaction is expected in the near future: hunger is pleasant only while we know (or believe) that we are soon going to eat. But this desire, even when there is no hope of possible satisfaction, continues to be prized, and even to be preferred to anything else in the world, by those who have once felt it. This hunger is better than any other fullness; this poverty better than all other wealth. And thus it comes about, that if the desire is long absent, it may itself be desired, and that new desiring becomes a new instance of the original desire, though the subject may not at once recognize the fact and thus cries out for his lost youth of soul at the very moment in which he is being rejuvenated. This sounds complicated, but it is simple when we live it. ‘Oh to feel as I did then!’ we cry; not noticing that even while we say the words the very feeling whose loss we lament is rising again in all its old bitter-sweetness. For this sweet Desire cuts across our ordinary distinctions between wanting and having. To have it is, by definition, a want: to want it, we find, is to have it.

In the second place, there is a peculiar mystery about the object of this Desire. Inexperienced people (and inattention leaves some inexperienced all their lives) suppose, when they feel it, that they know what they are desiring. Thus if it comes to a child while he is looking at a far off hillside he at once thinks ‘if only I were there;’ if it comes when he is remembering some event in the past, he thinks ‘if only I could go back to those days’. If it comes (a little later) while he is reading a ‘romantic’ tale or poem of ‘perilous sea and faerie lands forlorn’, he thinks he is wishing that such places really existed and that he could reach them. If it comes (later still) in a context with erotic suggestions he believes he is desiring the perfect beloved. If he falls upon literature (like Maeterlinck or the early Yeats) which treats of spirits and the like with some show of serious belief, he may think that he is hankering for real magic and occultism. When it darts out upon him from his studies in history or science, he may confuse it with the intellectual craving for knowledge.

But every one of these impressions is wrong. The sole merit I claim for this book is that it is written by one who has proved them all to be wrong. There is no room for vanity in the claim: I know them to be wrong not by intelligence but by experience, such experience as would not have come my way if my youth had been wise, more virtuous, and less self-centered than it was. For I have myself been deluded by every one of these false answers in turn, and have contemplated each of them earnestly enough to discover the cheat. To have embraced so many false Florimels is no matter for boasting: it is fools, they say, who learn by experience. But since they do at least learn, let a fool bring his experience into the common stock that wiser men profit by it.

Every one of these supposed objects for the Desire is inadequate to it. An easy experiment will show that by going to the far hillside you will get either nothing, or else a recurrence of the same desire which sent you thither. A rather more difficult, but still possible, study of your own memories, will prove that by returning to the past you could not find, as a possession, that ecstasy which some sudden reminder of the past now moves you to desire. Those remembered moments were either quite commonplace at the time (and owe all their enchantment to memory) or else were themselves moments of desiring. The same is true of the things described in the poets and marvelous romancers. The moment we endeavour to think out seriously what it would be like if they were actual, we discover this. When Sir Arthur Conan Doyle claimed to have photographed a fairy, I did not, in fact, believe it: but the mere making of the claim—the approach of the fairy to within even that hailing distance of actuality—revealed to me at once that if the claim had succeeded it would have chilled rather than satisfied the desire which fairy literature had hitherto aroused. Once grant your fairy, your enchanted forest, your satyr, faun, wood-nymph and well of immortality real, and amidst all the scientific, social and practical interest which the discovery would awake, the Sweet Desire would have disappeared, would have shifted its ground, like the cuckoo’s voice or the rainbow’s end, and be now calling us from beyond a further hill. With Magic in the darker sense (as it has been and is actually practiced) we should fare even worse. How if one had gone that way—had actually called for something and it had come? What would one feel? Terror, pride, guilt, tingling excitement…but what would all that have to do with our Sweet Desire? It is not at Black Mass or séance that the Blue Flower grows. As for the sexual answer, that I suppose to be the most obviously false Florimel of all. On whatever plane you take it, it is not what we were looking for. Lust can be gratified. Another personality can become to us ‘our America, our New-found-land’. A happy marriage can be achieved. But what has any of the three, or any mixture of the three, to do with that unnameable something, desire for which pierces us like a rapier at the smell of a bonfire, the sound of wild ducks flying overhead, the title of The Well at the World’s End, the opening lines of Kubla Khan, the morning cobwebs in the late summer, or the noise of falling waves?

It appeared to me therefore that if a man diligently followed this desire, pursuing the false objects until their falsity appeared and then resolutely abandoning them, he must come out at last into the clear knowledge that the human soul was made to enjoy some object that is never fully given—nay, cannot even be imagined as given—in our present mode of subjective and spatio-temporal experience. This Desire was, in the soul, as the Siege Perilous in Arthur’s castle—the chair in which only one could sit. And if nature makes nothing in vain, the One who can sit in this chair must exist. I knew only too well how easily the longing accepts false objects and through what dark ways the pursuit of them leads us: but I also saw that the Desire itself contains the corrective of all these errors. The only fatal error was to pretend that you had passed from desire to fruition, when, in reality, you had found either nothing, or desire itself, or the satisfaction of some different desire. The dialect of Desire, faithfully followed, would retrieve all mistakes, head you off from all false paths, and force you not to propound, but to live through, a sort of ontological progress, seemed to have converged on one goal; accordingly I tried to put them both into my allegory which thus became a defence of Romanticism (in my peculiar sense) as well as of Reason and Christianity.

Wow. I think I'm still reeling.

What a nice skirt!

2005-12-12T21:45:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, everyone!

2005-11-25T10:51:00.000-08:00

I am really sick of looking at that flashing bread logo. I'll try to post this weekend. I would have posted on my Thanksgiving break, but I didn't get one! Gotta love working in the retail industry during the holidays. I worked yesterday from 6-11 (pm). And I'm about to go in today. At least I'll see my family this weekend for a day or so...

Ezekiel 4:9

2005-09-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

"Take also unto thee wheat and barley and beans and lentils and millet and spelt and put them into one vessel and make bread of it." -Ezekiel 4:9

I have discovered a new elitist food: Ezekiel 4:9 bread, brought to you by Food for Life. In 1945, a baker named Leon read the verse from Ezekiel and decided to take it literally. Six grains and legumes are soaked in water and then made into bread that must be frozen, as the bread is technically "alive." No sugar, no preservatives, no shortening, no cholesterol. And it tastes good, too. My personal favorite is the cinnamon raisin.

In other news, David Crowder covers Sufjan Stevens' "O God Where Are You Now? (In Pickerel Lake? Pigeon? Marquette? Mackinaw?)" from Michigan on his new album, out today, called A Collision. He also follows Sufjan's lead (rips off?) on the long song titles, with, "(Repeat/Return) Or When The Seventh Angel Sounded His Trumpet, And There Were Loud Voices In Heaven, Which Said: "The Kingdom Of The World Has Become The Kingdom Of Our Lord And Of His Christ, And He Will Reign Forever And Ever, Etc." I'm going to buy it, and then I'll hopefully post a review soon. Until then, here's the new Wolf Parade album that I am currently obsessed with, Apologies To The Queen Mary, courtesy of Against The Grain.

Wolf Parade

Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea received a 10.0 rating today on the rerelease from Pitchfork, up there with the likes of Radiohead, Wilco, The Flaming Lips, and Pavement. Are we surprised?

LD to LP: A photo essay

2005-08-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

I can't think of a title as clever as Brett's recent Sufjan-copying, so I won't even try.

2005-08-11T00:57:00.000-07:00

Speaking of Pilotdrift, Micah was PhotoShopped (is that even a verb?) out of all these pictures:

For those of you who want an album preview (Brett), I suggest your attendance at Meghan and Dan's wedding this weekend. Or check out www.goodrecordsrecordings.com for 4 songs. I would have posted a sample, but we can't have our friends in trouble... Get ready for September 20 because it's good. And buy your tickets for PD/Polyphonic Spree in Dallas on Sept. 10.

You know, Futura was always one of my favorite fonts, along with Palatino at 80% width (thank you, PageMaker). I picked them out for our school newspaper when I was editor. Both very clean, very readable yet not overused back then. But the bottom line is I LIKED FUTURA BEFORE IT WAS POPULAR TO THE MASSES! Is there such thing as a font hipster?

Water Sphere

2005-07-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

Man, the new Pilotdrift is good. Kelly should score a movie or a musical. September 10... mark your calendars!

My boys

2005-07-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

These boys are Isaías and Eugenio, two brothers whom I adored on my trip to Mexico.

Katie's 80s

2005-06-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

I happen to think this is one of the greatest 80s pictures ever taken, capturing the essence of the 80s: ugly jumpsuits, half-hearted smiles, and heinous hair. Not to toot my own horn, but I used to be obsessed with the 80s and created a function in the decade's honor, called "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Whenever girls think of the 80s, they think side ponytails. But just to authenticate my outfit for the function, I checked numerous Pi Phi composite pictures from the glorious decade, discovering that most girls had wings, not side ponys. I love to do things as a joke and act serious about it because, let's be honest: delivery is everything. This picture happens to be my facebook picture, and a couple of weeks ago, a guy from my high school sent me a message, I'm pretty sure to make fun of me. (Background: in middle school a couple of times, "popular" guys sent someone to ask me out for them as some sort of sick joke. I've recovered, thankfully, after many years of therapy.) My mom also told me to change it because it was ugly. But I think everyone who looks good in their facebook picture gets messages from sick freaks who want to meet girls online. So anyway, I guess they didn't get the joke. Every time I see this picture, I think I laugh out loud. I just love it.

I think I am obsessed with Wilco. I may just have to buy both of the newest albums.

No Balfour.

2005-06-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

Well, we got third.

Did I mention that someone pooped in a dressing room last week at Dillard's?

I-L-L-I-N-O-I-S

2005-06-13T09:52:00.000-07:00

My new favorite CD is "Come On Feel the Illinoise!." Very good, very clever, very well-written. Go buy it.

And I am a little partial to the picture of Sufjan with the oboe... hits close to home, being that I am an oboist myself.

"In Spain...."

2005-06-08T22:26:00.000-07:00

In Spain, I played a little game where I would try to take pictures of people without their prior knowledge. I tried to make it a close up of their face, and ideally, they wouldn't be looking at the camera or smiling. There were a couple of folks I didn't get, but all in all I came up with pictures of everyone to post here for all of posterity and for the joy of remembering the Spain trip. For those of you in the pictures, they aren't flattering of anyone, so get over it. Enjoy!

P.S. In Spain, they call a swimming pool a "piss-in-a"... imagine that!

2005-06-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

I was kind of tired of looking at Ryan Adams.

May contain peanuts

2005-05-08T14:45:00.000-07:00

I have been exploring Ryan Adams' Rock N Roll for the first time today. I like it a lot, and I appreciate his versatility as an artist. I had noticed on iTunes, however, that there are two versions for purchase, "Explicit" and "Clean." When I see there are explicit lyrics, I assume the songs will be riddled with profanity, like in rap. I previously had three songs from this CD supplied to me from my friend Meghan Shack: "This Is It," "So Alive," and "Anybody Wanna Take Me Home." They were all clean. I bummed the CD from another friend to get the entire version, and I assumed it was the clean version. I was listening along when I came to the fourth track on the CD, containing profound, heartfelt lyrics, such as:

It's all a bunch of s***
And there's nothing to do around here
It's totally f***** up
I'm totally f***** up
Wish you were here

Come on, Ryan. Couldn't you do better than that? He did croon the word "s***" better than anyone I've ever heard, though. Anyway, this was ovbviously the explicit version of the CD. I came to the conclusion that the label "Explicit" in this case is sort of like when a plain Hershey bar says "May contain peanuts," the same as a Reese's. Some songs have no cursing, some are full of it, but they all get the same label. Deep thoughts from Katie.

Ode to Mindy

2005-05-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

Mindy moved from Fayetteville this morning... sad! I miss her a lot today, which is weird. Not weird that I miss her, but weird that it's not even been 24 hours since I've seen her and 12 hours since we talked. We've gone more time than that without seeing each other or even talking, and I was pretty darn busy today, so I haven't hung out with anyone anyway. But I think knowing that I couldn't hang out with her if I wanted makes me sad. So I entitle this following photo essay, "Ode to Mindy."

In other news, I have no more days of class as an undergrad. How scary. Yay for the ACL lineup. Pilotdrift plays in Austin on Monday at Emo's. I like Wilco. Thanks Brett.

Say Yes! To M!Ch!Gan!

2005-04-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

I am in love with Sufjan Stevens. I cannot stop listening to his music. There. I've said it now.

"Ironic hipster at its finest"

2005-04-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

The public library is my new best friend. Not only is everything in it free and readily at my disposal, it appears to be the best music store in Fayetteville, which is, in the words of Brett, "ironic hipster at its finest." I echo all of Amy's sentiments on the Blair Library. Here is what I have recently added to my iPod:

Ryan Adams - Gold

Badly Drawn Boy - The Hour of Bewilderbeast

Nick Drake - Five Leaves Left

Patty Griffin - 1000 Kisses

Patty Griffin - Impossible Dream

Iron & Wine - The Creek Drank the Cradle

Iron & Wine - The Sea & the Rhythm

Sondre Lerche - Two Way Monologue

The Magnetic Fields - i

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Neutral Milk HOtel - On Avery Island

The New Pornograhers - Electric Version

The Notwist - Neon Golden

Sparklehorse - It's A Wonderful Life

Sufjan Stevens - Enjoy Your Rabbit

Sufjan Stevens - Greetings From Michigan: The Great Lakes State

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever To Tell

On another note, check out Pilotdrift's video of "So Long" live from Tree's. At this particular show, they had extra drummers in the balcony (Ben's brother Tim and another guy) for a surround sound-ish effect. The video's very good quality, so get out your Quick Time player now, y'hear?

Deuces.

Gazebo

2005-04-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

On my way to school every day, I pass this gazebo on Maple Street. Now, I'm not sure what part of this they think is attractive, but here's its latest decorations:

If you can't see the details, it's four spring-ish umbrellas. She has a frog, a bumblebee, a cow, and a ladybug. Each one has eyes that stick up off the umbrella. Plus that nasty, lit up wreath. Sick.

I know the woman who lives there indirectly, and I'm fairly confident that she has terrible taste. She hung a cupid and a purple jester on it for Valentine's Day, cross-shaped mylar balloons and chocolate rabbit statues for easter, and plastic shamrocks for St. Patrick's. I wish I could remember more.

Here's another funny Beezy quote I remembered. Last year we were trying to figure out somewhere to eat, and she suggested A.Q. Chicken House, but retracted her suggestion with this comment:

"Now, I hear it's supposed to be old, country cookin', but I am from the country, I'm definitely old, and that's not what I like to eat."

Two are better than one...

2005-04-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

I've been to two weddings in the past two days, so it's gotten me thinking quite a bit. There're so many things about the Lord that are true that are seemingly contradictory, but it turns out that they actually can exist in harmony. For example, three but one. Free too choose but predestined. Etc, etc. I don't know if that sets up what I'm about to say too well, but here's a shot at what's going on in my head. I'm going to write in a stream-of-consciousness manner, so I'm not exactly sure what my opinion is. Here goes:

Paul talks in 1 Corinthians about it being good for a man not to marry because that way his interest aren't divided. But also, "Two are bettter than one..." in Ecclesiastes. But I'm not actually pondering whether people should get married.

Also, for anything in life to work, we have to be completely filled and satisfied by the Lord alone because we are made to be completed by Him and no one/nothing else. When people get married, it's not because they need each other. In fact, it's quite the opposite. They are able to love one another because they don't need each other--because of Christ and following His example (by being given the ability through the Holy Spirit). I like how C.S. Lewis put it when he said, "No love can truly live unless it has first been buried," or in other words surrendered. Love that exists out of need never lasts, and honestly, I don't think it's love.

I think growing up in the church, though, I was always told (at least indirectly) that people get married because "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts," or that they will "achieve more for the Kingdom" by being married than not. You know, synergy. I mean, doesn't that seem like a good reason as to why people would get married? Obviously people wouldn't marry if they think they'd be worse off spiritually. You'd think a marriage would have to be a more positive thing for the Kingdom. But at the same time, single people aren't "crippled" or at some disadvantage spiritually by not being married. Paul argues the opposite. Author's note: This paragraph is all things I've heard before... I think I'm about to refute some of it in the following paragraphs. Not sure though.

However, I don't think we can "achieve" anything for the Lord, individually or with anyone else. Anything we get or do is from the Lord. There's that.

God said it is not good for man to be alone in Genesis. And two are better than one. Maybe it just boils down to that people getting married just know they love the Lord and will strive to know Him more tomorrow than today, and they love each other. We can't offer the Lord anything no matter what, so may as well be inadequate and humble and in love together with someone else.

All that to say, the part I wanted to ask people's opinion on is the synergy thing. Is the whole greater than the sum of its parts? Maybe the whole is greater because of love--Christ's love and love for one another--and we are able to experience another part of the Lord through marriage. It's really a grace, I think. The three semi-unreferenced snippits of Scripture seem to point to different things (thus, the first paragraph about contradictory things that are harmonious), so I guess I'm trying to paint them all together into a picture that makes sense to me, if it can be done.

Any thoughts? I'm sure I will when I read this tomorrow...

Hipsters

2005-04-01T09:17:00.000-08:00

I think there must be some unwritten code for hipsters' xanga pictures that states it must be a close-up picture (even better if it's only a part of their face) in which they are looking off in another direction with a puzzled or pensive expression. Just a thought.

Mom Beezy was heezy

2005-03-29T20:16:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: If you have never met Helen "Mom B" Burris, I don't expect you to find any of the following nearly as humorous as I do, but I'm posting anyway.

Helen Burris

Let's be honest... what's a blog without a post about Mom B? Our Pi Phi house mom hails from North Carolina where she claims she audited a class, and Michael Jordan was in it: "He used to hold the door open for me, and I would walk under his arm." Try to imagine the the worst, thick, NC southern drawl you can think of. Slow it down about 100 times, make it breathier, and assign it the body of a hunched, flat-rear-ended, 82-year-old woman. Meet Helen Burris. This is about what she looks like from the back (although this is a woman I saw in Heidelberg, Germany, this summer):

Just so you know, the real Mom B's butt is way flatter. Beezy's hobbies include knitting sweaters, towing cars, and being anal. Her most famous words are, "We have got to get this taken care of!" which typically follow a question about some small-scale matter about the house. Example: "Katie, have you seen the white candlesticks we used for initiation? They have been missing for weeks. We have got to get this taken care of!" And she'll ask the same five people repeatedly. She's also not very tactful sometimes. Once she actually told my friend Chelsea that from the look of her composite picture, she would've thought Chelsea was a "bigger girl."

One of Beezy's main duties is printing off the menu each week. It's appeared to have taken her about a year to finally get her fingers on the home row (example: "Prnnr pork"). Also, a tradition here at the U of A is for the sororities to have Chicken Finger Friday every week for lunch, or as Mom B has typed it, "Fhicken Finger Friday," which has also been shortened to "CFC," "CCC," and "CCF." Ironically, the letters on her license plate read "CFF."

A favorite game of the senior pledge class is called "Picture Mom B..." and then you finish the sentence with something like "...winning a wet t-shirt contest," or something else ridiculous. We'd also do pranks in people's rooms and then scrawl a note on the marker board saying, "Mom Beezy was heezy, fo' sheezy, my neezy!" Hours of fun, let me tell you.

She's a pretty good house mom, though, and definitely deserving of the e-props I'm giving her today.

The Beatles

2005-03-27T10:58:00.000-08:00

Funny Brett mentioned the Beatles...I was just thinking of them last night. I like the way allmusic.com put it:

"To start with the obvious, they were the greatest and most influential act of the rock era, and introduced more innovations into popular music than any other rock band of the 20th century. Moreover, they were among the few artists of any discipline that were simultaneously the best at what they did and the most popular at what they did."

And you know what I realized? The only Beatles songs I know (and could name some lyrics to) are "Twist and Shout," "Love Me Do," "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," "Hey Jude," and "Please Please Me." All these are pretty much pre-1964, except "Hey Jude." If these guys were so influential to the music scene--and I'd say they were, since about everyone was influenced in some way, shape, or form by the Beatles--then shouldn't I at least know some of their music?

Which brings me to my dilemma: there's so much I don't even know where to start. iTunes doesn't have clips except of a handful. Any suggestions? Favorite albums/songs?

I'll leave you with this to ponder: 9 times out of 10 the word "that" is unnecessary.

Oh yeah, the end of the story...

2005-03-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

I am back from Mexico. A little browner, perhaps. No more hipster-coloring, at any rate. We went through security with British Airways stewardesses. I like the word "rubbish."

"Stewardesses" is the longest word to type with your left hand.

The Decemberists' new album came out Tuesday. I shall rove the Air Capital City tomorrow to find me a copy. Free sample.

Two of the Lord of the Rings books I've read; just started the last.

I have almost forgotten html and how to ring up a Dillard's charge.

Let's make sure we know why we're here today.

...I'll tell you how the story ends on Sunday.

2005-03-07T11:03:00.000-08:00

here are the pictures.

Steve Lee

2005-03-06T21:36:00.000-08:00

I met this guy named Steve Lee tonight.

Overboard on Eisley?

2005-03-04T14:55:00.000-08:00

Good idea, Paul. I like to see what's on other people's top 25 because I think you can tell a lot about people by the music they listen to the most. Anyway, here's mine.

1. Plenty of Paper - Eisley - Room Noises - 42 - 3/3
2. One Day I Slowly Floated Away - Eisley - Room Noises - 40 - 3/2
3. Over the Mountains - Eisley - Laughing City EP - 30 - 2/27
4. My Lovely - Eisley - Room Noises - 27 - 3/3
5. Hunted By A Freak - Mogwai - Happy Songs For Happy People - 26 - 2/14
6. Rebellion (Lies) - The Arcade Fire - Funeral - 25 - 2/4
7. So Long - Pilotdrift - Iter Facere - 25 - 3/4
8. Big Brass Bed - Waterdeep - Everyone's Little CD - 25 - 2/20
9. Karma Police - Radiohead - OK Computer - 24 - 3/4
10. Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) - The Arcade Fire - Funeral - 23 - 2/28
11. Bury Me - Blakely - Blakely EP - 22 - 3/4
12. The Jungler - Midlake - Bamnan and Slivercork - 21 - 3/4
13. Marvelous Things - Eisley - Marvelous Things - 20 - 2/22
14. Kingfish Pies - Midlake - Bamnan and Slivercork - 20 - 3/2
15. Crown of Love - The Arcade Fire - Funeral - 19 - 3/1
16. Just Like We Do - Eisley - Room Noises - 19 - 3/3
17. Rings of Symbols - Piltodrift - Iter Facere - 19 - 2/26
18. Venus - Air - Talkie Walkie - 17 - 3/3
19. Marvelous Things - Eisley - Room Noises - 17 - 3/3
20. Trolley Wood - Eisley - Room Noises - 17 - 3/2
21. Gray Stables - Iron & Wine - Woman King EP - 17 - 3/4
22. Power Grand - Meghan Shack - Untitled Studio Rough - 17 - 3/4
23. The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - The Postal Service - Give Up - 17 - 3/4
24. Lost At Sea - Eisley - Room Noises - 16 - 3/3
25. Words That Cure, Pt. 1 - Ester Drang - Goldenwest - 16 - 2/16

Yes, Eisley appears nine times on my top 25 list. I think it's because a) their CD is so good and addicting, and b) the longest song on Room Noises is 3:38. I could listen to about 2.5 Plenty of Papers in the time I could listen to one Rings of Symbols. Also, note that the list is not completely accurate, as my computer was completely reformatted in December. If it hadn't been, the list would probably contain a few more Death Cab for Cuties, Postal Services, Notwists, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Ryan Adams, and Franz Ferdinands.

Currently I can't seem to stop listening to Eisley (obviously - 42 plays on a song since Feb. 8), Pilotdrift, Midlake, Air, and the Arcade Fire, and I haven't been into my fall favorites as much. But I still love and really appreciate Ben Gibbard's music. The only thing on my list I even owned pre-December is Ester Drang, the Postal Service, and the Eisley EPs.

Well, my parents come in town tonight. In about 40 minutes, I have to go to a dress rehearsal for the Mr. AKA scholarship pageant. AKA (Alpha Kappa Alpha) is a sorority on campus--the one who taught us our step show steps and who we were paired with for Greek Sing. I ran into one of them on campus last week and she asked me if I'd play the piano as an entertainment act in their pageant. First of all, I haven't performed in 4 years. Second of all, what do you play in front of a whole room of people who will talk the whole time anyway? Oh, dilemma of dilemmas.

Shot through the heart, and Dan's to blame!

2005-03-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

the original:

the version that made the website:

ouch, dan.

I now have a photobucket, so I think I will be able to post photos now. My username is piphi225. There's only 2 in it now, so don't get too excited.

Katie's 80s

2005-02-26T18:54:00.000-08:00

this pretty well sums up last night. it was grand.

Whitney

2005-02-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

Today I was talking to my friend Whitney who goes to Baylor... the one who was supposed to meet us in Dallas this weekend. That's us as co's at Kanakuk in the picture.

Apparently at her church they had some speaker recently (I'm not sure exactly when it was), and he announced at one point that the Lord had revealed to him that there was someone in the congregation who has one leg shorter than the other and that whoever it was was to find him after the service so he could pray for them.

Well, that person happened to be Whitney (I had no idea she had this problem actually). She said she'd had it her whole life and her back had actually kind of curved to compensate for her legs so it wasn't some kind of issue in her life. But she said that she'd in fact felt the opposite of overlooked by the Lord.

So she went to find the guy. She said she went with kind of neutral faith---neither thinking "I'm going to be healed!" nor "No way, I've had this problem all my life." He and some others gathered around to pray for her and had her lay down, and when she did, her legs were noticeably different lengths. They started to pray for her. She said her legs began shaking and did for about 30 seconds. When they finished praying, everyone was laughing and saying stuff like, "Praise the Lord!" They asked if she felt anything, and she told them about the shaking. Then they asked her if she felt it grow. She looked down, and her legs were the same length.

The Lord is really unfathomable.

P.S. Check out allmusic.com's review of Room Noises... methinks it's a bit better than Rolling Stone's!

The weekend of the 18th

2005-02-21T19:35:00.000-08:00

Whenever something happens that was really, really fun, I get sad when it's over and really sentimental about everything that happened. The theme of today is how un-fun everything here is, especially compared to the last three days. Man that was fun.

Yay for last weekend. If you were there, you were lucky. If not, you missed out.

Ergo, I shall go study Spanish.

70's and Talkie Walkie

2005-02-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

Today is a great day! I skipped my first class because I decided it'd be more worth my time to visit two teachers during their office hours, which were only during my class. I've gotten a lot done since I left my house at 8:15. The weather is in the 70's today, it's a little breezy, I've gotten some great time with the Lord, and now I'm listening to Air. Doesn't get any better than that!

On that note, I think it's really interesting how we label days "good" or "bad" based on how we're feeling that day. It just goes to show how one or two things can take us out of the fight for that day. Yesterday, after a confrontation with a friend, homework, and a parking ticket, I was done for. I'd resigned myself to the apparent crappiness of the day.

I heard John Piper say once that joy is an everyday decision, a fight almost. True, we can have joy while we're going through trials, but all too often we choose misery over joy. When I have a bad day, I decide to go somewhere to be alone and listen to slit-your-wrists music like Radiohead or Mogwai and wallow in self-pity, or else I whine to someone else about my problems. But really, all we need to do is just say no to the things that try to drag us down and get disappointed with the Lord. Instead of asking the Lord why trivial bad things are happening (or ignoring Him), we need to just declare that we're going to be joyful ANYWAY.

When we wake up in the morning, when we have the chance to choose to walk in the Spirit that day or not, to choose to love people or not, we also have the choice to choose joy or not, regardless of our circumstances that day. And it's amazing how your view on even little things for that day changes. It's like this:

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Everything just falls into place, real neat-like, when we choose Him.

Those are my deep thoughts, for right now at least. On another note, PLEASE check this CD out:

Walker

2005-02-14T17:23:00.000-08:00

I really appreciated Will Walker's thoughts on quiet times in his post on Musings today and thought it worth posting here, just in case I have any readers who aren't in the "Austin circle."

Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T15:31:00.000-08:00

This may perhaps be the worst holiday in the history of mankind. It's a slap-in-the-face reminder to single people that they're single, and my friends with siginicant others tell me that it's pretty anticlimactic for couples too. But maybe that's just my take on it. It's not been that great of a day because of all the homework I have to do, all Valentines aside. And I've kind of been in a downer mood.

Speaking of downer moods, I really like the Pyramid Song by Radiohead. I like songs that do weird things with the meter because it makes me have to think about it. And it means some thought went into the song. Karma Police is also a great song.

Off to eat fish and go to chapter.

2005-02-13T15:03:00.000-08:00

Well, maybe I didn't really mean hate about the Extreme Makeover thing. Perhaps a bit overused is a better term? Hopefully I didn't put my foot in my mouth or dash anyone's dreams of naming something after the show.

Extreme Makeover: Blog Edition

2005-02-12T22:59:00.000-08:00

First off, let me say I hate when people think it's cute to name something, "Extreme Makeover: [insert word here] Edition." That is, people other than the show's producers. It's about on the same utility curve as "getting my [insert] on!" for me. All that to say, I decided to get my blog on tonight. I renovated the sidebar, and it looks halfway decent. I'm actually more proud that I remembered how to do html than the actual look of the blog. It kinda took me a while, but it's not super fantastically cool. It's just been upgraded from average to pretty good, I'd say.

Our friends in the soon-to-be-popular group Eisley were in Seattle recently. While eating at a restaurant, a guy came up to their table and told them he really liked their music. They thanked him and continued with their meal. However, unbeknownst to them, that adoring fan happened to be Ben Gibbard, lead singer of one of their favorite groups of all time, Death Cab For Cutie. (Tell me, am I right?)

Tomorrow I am working at Wal-Mart. If you happen to be in the Rogers area, stop by the store, where I will be dressed as the tooth fairy passing out toothpaste samples to children.

Eisley

2005-02-10T22:27:00.000-08:00

So, the new Eisley CD came out on Tuesday... and it hasn't left my CD player. Or iPod, rather. It's an amazing collection of songs that everyone should have! Check out some new songs here:

The Eisley Player

2005-02-09T23:23:00.000-08:00

I have come to the conclusion that I am not a very witty writer. Now, in person is a different story. I don't think anything I write will ever be entertaining, save the fact that I tend to be a little dramatic, and that's only funny to me. I really did laugh at amy's post on paul's blog, while we're on the topic of witty writing.

2005-02-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

Life's so complicated sometimes.

Perhaps we overcomplicate things. I think the only formula out there is to seek the Lord with your whole heart. Everything else just falls into place, real nice-like.

I am so dramatic late at night. Everything makes much more sense when the sun's out. I don't think I like that about myself. The thinking part, yes. The waking up in the morning and seeing how I was so silly...

Um, well at least it's good for a laugh. Laughing's my favorite.

But everything still makes much more sense when the sun's out.

I really like music where it's a girl singing and she kind of wails, so to speak. Or harmonizes with herself or with someone else. Like on the song "Big Brass Bed" by Waterdeep. Or Eisley stuff. Those are the only two I can think of.

Oh crap, I am meeting Mare at 9. Night night.

uh oh

2005-02-06T19:45:00.000-08:00

umm... i got a xanga. i feel like an adulturess.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=bigbrassbed

Jason

2005-02-03T00:20:00.000-08:00

I did a demo today at the Wal-Mart corporate office, and I've re-realized that I'm so sick of corporate America. That's funny, since I haven't really even entered it. All companies used to make fattening, awful foods that were cheap to produce and tasted good so people would buy them. Now that there's a health craze, all the companies have switched to new packaging and newly-designed products that are healthier, or at least provide some "unheard of" benefit, like low sodium, low carbs, double the antioxidants, etc. Basically, it's anything that the consumer will feel like they lack and therefore need the product. That's marketing.

I guess my big problem is that I'm so fed up with Americans' problem with self-control. They want to be able to buy fat free products so they can gorge themselves with as much of it as they want without having to be accountible for the crap they're putting in their bodies. That's why I don't believe in "diet" products. And they can't be good for you either, because they're artificial. I will make an exception for dairy products, because they make those by using less cream or whatever. ANYWAY. I would never be able to sell someone a product because most people don't need to spend their money on what I'm selling. When I do demos, my packet of info is full of very vague information, except a few canned sentences I am to make sure I tell the consumer to pump up the brand name. These sentences, such as, "Would you like to try some of Welch's 100% grape juice? It carries the American Heart Association seal of approval and has twice the antioxidant power of orange juice!" Sick, I know.

But thinking about this got me thinking about other things too. The same way corporations make attractively packaged products and glitzy marketing messages as a way to get your money, Satan makes sin look attractive because he wants your soul, or at least to keep you immobilized long enough to prevent you from working for God's glory. We pursue all these things in life, we believe all these lies because we think it's what we really want. And all this thinking reminded me one of my favorite Jason Upton songs called "Whistle in Your Will." As follows:

I followed hard after sin, thinking somehow it would fulfill me
Realizing, in the end, it was only out to kill me.
Only Your will fills...
only Your will fills...
only Your will fills the void inside of me.
How many times, Lord, have I hurt You, following hard after men,
thinking it somehow would fill the void of rejection in me?
How many times have I followed hard after men, hard after men,
thinking somehow it would fill the void of rejection?
There's a whistle in Your will...
a whistle in Your will...
Your yoke is easy, Your burden is so light.
It's the bondage breaker, the will of the Lord!
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, the fear of the Lord.
Break off that man-pleasing spirit,
that spirit that leads us into foolishness,
that spirit that leads us into foolish ways!

2005-01-19T00:14:00.000-08:00

People like us make good contrarian investors.

INTJ???

2005-01-17T23:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like there are two different Katies.

I just took this personality test---the I/E, N/S, T/F, J/P one. First of all, I'm so indecisive and a perfectionist, that I usually sit for 10 or so minutes at each question rehearsing the past almost 22 years of my life and evaluating my behaviors in different situations to make sure I picked the right answers. So I hate personality tests. And I score different things when I'm in different moods. My favorite personality test is the sanguine/choleric/melancholy/phlegmatic one. I'm definitely a melancholy, and my second is usually choleric, but sometimes I'm sanguine. Anyway. Melancholy=perfectionist=eternally long personality tests.

I took the letter test in high school, and I remember being an INTJ... don't ask how I remember that. I wouldn't call myself a super intuitive person or someone with lots of discernment. But test always ask things like whether you are more fact-oriented and detailed or more sensitive and emotion-based. I love thinking about things and knowing "just to know," and I work better with deadlines. Don't forget the perfectionism. But my spiritual gift is mercy, and sometimes I can really feel for people and be overcome with compassion and love for them. Hmmm... interesting.

Actually, I figured the whole thing out just sitting here thinking about it. It's actually pretty obvious and something that's been staring me in the face for a long time.....

I suppose I will close my eyes again.

2005-01-14T02:57:00.000-08:00

Oh goodie, I have posted a couple of (really worthwhile) entries. I feel pretty dumb for writing on here, especially since I doubt anyone has even read it, myself included. Usually, when I need to vent, I write in my journal instead of blogging. Maybe I'm just not a blogger at heart.

I talked to Whitney for an hour and a half on the way back from DWC. She was telling me a story about how she had written a letter to her local newspaper about a book that a parent wanted banned called "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. She was just frustrated at people who work to eliminate books that spur folks on to thought. What's that book about all that called... Farenheit 451? I dunno.

But I get in moods like that at night too. Sometimes I'll do things that I'll hit myself for the next day. For example... on the facebook, there was a group called something like "Athiests, agnostics, and other freethinkers." Right after that, in the listings, was another group called "Athiests, agnostics, and other freethinkers need our prayers... let's pray for them!" In the group, someone had posted, "Let the bastards burn in hell!" and the group description included something about 4 more years of Bush. I got pretty hot after seeing that, and I joined the group simply to send out the email. I never sent it. But I wrote it and saved it so I could think about it before doing something I regretted. Here it is:

"PLEASE.... if you call yourselves Christians, I ask every one of you to un-join this group or delete it. If I were an agnostic, I would hate Christians for being so hypocritical... saying I need prayers, but then calling me a bastard and telling me to burn in hell. This group would turn me away from the Gospel rather than make me want to read it. Also, who's to say that the Republican party is synonymous with Christianity? God did not create political parties... man did. Who are we to act like liberals are the spawn of Satan and presume we are in the right? Our country is still in bad spiritual shape, regardless of the Republican control. It seems to me that, rather than creating or joining a facebook group to "pray" for the free thinkers (which I'm sure is difficult over the web), this group was created to be listed after their group in the group listings simply to be a slap in their faces and let them know that we think they're wrong. I think this group is 100% inappropriate, and I ask you to take it down. Maybe this is not actually a Christian group. If this is the case, please take God's Name out of it because this is definitely not His heart towards the lost. Prayer, yes (we should WANT to!). 'Let's be thankful that they are a minority,' no. I hope this message does not come across in anger but simply principled concern. Thank you."

I don't even remember what it says (I just copied and pasted it). I'm gonna forget opening that can of worms again....

Well, I took a Tylenol PM tonight at 1 ish to help me get back on a normal sleep schedule. I can sure waste time like a champ.

Leave a comment if you read this just so I know I'm not talking to a wall.

The Facebook

2004-11-19T13:19:00.000-08:00

THE FACEBOOK IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!

It's spread through Arkansas like a country grassfire. It serves absolutely no purpose at all. It's more addicting than tv. And I can't think of a better way to waste my time. If you are reading this (not very likely---I haven't exactly drawn a crowd to my blogs), you better sign up for the facebook and request me as a friend. And join my mockumentary group.

http://www.thefacebook.com

Whoo!

2004-11-17T09:21:00.000-08:00

I don't know how often I'll use this since I don't have the internet at home... but I'll at least have time in my 11:30 class on MWF. Maybe if I paid more attention I wouldn't be behind in my grades...